Not the simplest lunch break

Have you ever been sitting in a restaurant, alone on a table for two person and were just watching at the other empty chair. Looking at it, very thoughtful half dreaming and unable to eat, even if your meal is right in front of you, untouched for about 15 minutes. And you didn't even realize, that the waitress is already looking at you askingly, because it seems kinda strange. But all that you don't mind,because all what you're thinking about is that empty chair and that's something wrong with it. What... you can probably guess by yourself... sitting here alone just feels wrong and again, I started to miss someone who is close to me, who might just sit there, just be there. She doesn't even have to talk, it would've been enough, if this feeling of lonelieness would be gone due to her presence. But you are still sitting there, the 15 minutes have already passed an the food is already a bit cold. Perfect to eat, yeh... but what when you lost your appetite suddenly by your thoughts. I took my chopsticks, stoked weary through my noddles and just kept thinking. It was a sad lunchbreak and despite the many people around me a very silent too. I was so completly sunken into my thoughts, that I couldn't hear the voices around me, there was only my own inner voice, telling me that there is something wrong, not only the fact that I was sitting there alone, the whole past few months had been definitely wrong. But what should I do... we can't force humanity to stay with us, except some illegal methods, and even more are we unable to make someone to love us, or better, we mustn't. So all whats left is sitting there and hang on the small hope, that someday we could take another beloved person to this place, so the table is filled the way it should be from the start. But than I came up with the question, where to find such a person and how? I'm not the type who can ran into the disco running straight to a single girl, talk with her and after some days be her friend. And that's not, because I can't do this, to be honest, I was and surely am still good at this, but for what? The most girls I've met this way were just some sex drunken whores, which left you 1 or 2 weeks later, cause they went drunk and landed in the bed of another same-stupid boy, just for sex. This ends mostly just in hurting yourself if you are as emotional than me. So, I gave up this idea without even trying. Another way is, talking to a girl on the streets, randomly, hoping to find a nice one. It would work, but the fact, that in this village the streets seem to be nearly empty 24/7 and the next bigger town is 35 miles away let it seem impossible to do this for long, without running out of money. So, another point done without doing anything, we are still sitting on an empty table. The last chance I might have, is to wait, waiting and hoping that the fairy of fait will grant me my only and deepest wish, to find the one person I will be forever happy with. Until then, I just can wait... maybe only the next 6 months, till I will move to university, in a way bigger city... maybe just a few weeks, until someone runs just accidentally into me... maybe it will took years, until I am for myself able to feel such a strong feeling like true love again - I am still hurt by my last relation, and to be honest a mere mental wreck. But the knowledge, that there is and must be someone out there, who is the fulfilling of my dreams life is one hope enough, to stay here longer to life on and to sit some more often at this table, simply waiting. 'I'm happy the way I am now', when I stopped eating and thinking I came to that, because I didn't do anything wrong and have all and more chances to do it even better.