If I should describe love as a sword, I won't call it double-edged, rather it seems to me, like only one side of it is sharp, but the sword can still turn anytime against you. Let's start with the relationship. In this state no one of both sides really will or wants to cut the other one. But still we are able to hurt each other, with the wrong words, or even with no words and many mistakes we do or forget. But it hurts, even if it's no cut. This is the blunt side of the sword. I like this picture, of a blunt instead of a sharp side, beacause it means, that you can be hit several times and at first it doesn't hurt really much, but the more the same part gets a little damage from a dulled edge, the more it still hurts. And when it's getting more and more, the pain will grow, slowly, but soon reaching a feeling, that wont heal fast and just hurts in some moments, like when you move the wrong body part... thats just like a contusion, in the matter of love not physically, but in your mind it can feel just the same. So even in love we can hurt each other and even if you don't cut, the things we do affects the other. It may be we don't recognise it at first, but sooner or later, if it gets more or worse we will find out, that we definitely did something wrong and not only something, a whole load of mistakes that leads us to a state of tearful disharmony between each other. So I think, we all should care about our partner, which is hopefully the most beloved person in your life, that we dont harm them much and if we did, we should take all efforts to make him or her forgive your doings after. That way even the strike of a dull sword can be healed, before its getting worse because another one is following too fast after. It sounds easy in words, but believe me, it's hard, I think one of the hardest things ever between humans, to forgive each other and to give someone the feeling, that he or she may and can forgive you everything. I, for myself, failed in this task, so badly, so sadly that I've fallen down a rift which I still cannot escape for months now. That's also the reason why I write all this silly things - I hope my english is good enoug to understand it.
And now we may look at the other side of this sword called love. It's a sharp and really sharp edge, when you ever faced true love and you ever faced a end, as sad, as painfull than mines were - yes they were more than one - than you might know what I talked about. It is not only, that your mind seems like cut and scattered into thousands of shrouds, no, even your body trembles in pain, tears overflowing and the whole world seems to be only one forever broken thing. But this is only, when one of the two in a relation decides to strike the other one with the full force of that blade. And I swear, I've never imagined a greater and longer time of torture and self torture, than then, when you think about to end it all, but still refuse out of some stupid reasons. The time from than on, until you break away, is the worst ever in my experience. So I just want to advise you, when you really want to end a relationship, because it gives you nothing more than sadness and sorrow, than pleas, DO IT. Don't wait, not even a single day more, don't think about senseless hopes that might pop up into your mind, don't believe that it can still get better, just end it. You will do yourself and your partner a real favor, because if the other really knows you he or she will and must feel your intention to end the relationship, might start desperately to try to do nothing wrong anymore, ignores everything that would be better for himself, and than your partner end you might end in a more worse state than it was at the time, when you started to think about the end. I did the opposite, for a person I really loved, more than anything else, and in the end I faced a thing, that I may call real insanity... no one should ever learn this the hard way. And I want to tell you a little phrase, I already told to so many people and each time it would've been better, that they actually had listened to it: It's better to end a relation with a single stab with a knife, than suffering in a timeless and senseless agony for an eternity. Maybe someone will read this one day, think about it and may do the right thing... if even one, who is facing a so desperate situation with his/her partner, that he rather wants to kill himself than going on, and then decides to end it, I may have done one time a good thing to this world. But also I must advise you, to not to read this and suddenly rush to end a relationship, that was still good in itself and just have a few disturbing things in it, it would be unfair, to your partner and in the end to yourself.
But there's existing another, unknown or just negated way to hurt and to cut. For myself I would say, the more you practise this way the more it draws you into a state of madness till it has reached true insanity and even than you won't find an end out of it. I'm talking about the act of hurting yourself, mentally and often and soon physically too. And it's the worst thing in this world a human could do and many might do, the most of them probably without knowing it for themselves. It may happen when you are a very soulful person, one that really loves the partner more than everything else, but for yourself destroyed in you mind, in a depression from the start, and regarding your partner as a more important thing than you would ever be. If you reach this state, than get out of it, fast. If you want to start a relationship like this, forget it, won't work. The only thing that will happen is, that you do more and more things, just to be loved by one person, forget everything what might be good for you and end with nothing more than the strong will to do even more for your beloved one. But humans can't be perfect, won't ever be and - believe me - should never be perfect. So the most common thing that will happen: You will fail, sooner or later, for sure. But until you reach the point where you see, that it doesn't end, despite all of your doing, it may end by itself if you're lucky and if you have an understanding partner, that cares about your feelings. If not, welcome to hell. I can only talk from myself from here on... well I do it the whole gap I think. But what you feel, when you are at last nothing more than a tool that is used to be trotured for an unsatisfied feeling of belong, love and care, than you will get eaten up by your own confession, by your addiction to that person, cause he or she will draw out of you every drip of happieness untill nothing more than your insanity is left. And what comes with that is pain, crucial and unknown to your mind and also very strong in your body. If this progress lasts long enough you will often be only able of thinking one thing at all: What did I do wrong this time? And your head won't be able to keep all the pain for itself, so your body will soon feel pain also, in your chest like a knife was stabbed in, in your limbs like they are stretched all the time and additional to that you will be exhausted, despite how much you sleep, how much you rest or what you are doing, you will be exhausted all the time, even more than you might be used to be before all that had happened. And then.... let me say... it can still get worse.
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